tarrlok appreciation day fic

[greedyslayer]

Title: you're yakone's son

Summary: Misbegotten Sons AU. The little things about Tarrlok, firstborn to Yakone.

A/N: Late for Tarrlok Appreciation Day.  Quite unpolished, but I still want something for Tarrlok Appreciation Day, and it's still in decent enough shape I think.  And this rather...mutated into other things.  Like MS!Amon sneaked in, and it's even more Tarrlok & Amon thematically.  A mix of new, old-and-expanded from 'misbegotten sons' and 'the showdown that was always meant to be.'

Misbegotten Sons (up to date at my ff.net account): http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8190741/1/misbegotten-sons

the showdown that was always meant to be (up to date at my tumblr, links to previous part at bottom of most recent here): http://fannishcodex.tumblr.com/post/30695598418

1. His parents were his heroes. And after his mother died, only Yakone was Tarrlok's hero. The person he looked up to the most in the entire world. And mother had always said Tarrlok had to honor and respect and protect his father.

Thus when he realized what kind of man Yakone really was, Tarrlok's entire perception of the world was essentially skewed from a young age, in a way even Yakone didn't entirely expect. For if Yakone was like this, Tarrlok's unconconscious child mind grew to think the rest of the world was pretty much like him.

Tarrlok rarely saw anything that made him think otherwise after that. People were simply varying levels of cruelty. Deep down, they would all twist the knife in their neighbor's back. And those who fell prey to the knife were simply too stupid and weak to count.

2. Tarrlok's mother wore her hair in three tails, which he inherited. She could still bend, unlike Yakone. And thus it was she who had first shown him bloodbending, though she'd never explained it alive. Just called it a magic show when she made the rabbit-antelope dance for him. The creatures hadn't looked conspicuously in pain; her control was precise, and she made it gentle with them. Tarrlok had found it all good fun, ignorant of what was really going on. It was Tarrlok's mother that began to recite family history to Tarrlok: how Yakone could bend before, had taught her to bloodbend, and how she had served him and his large empire in Republic City, until Avatar Aang and Chief Toph Bei Fong and the Council got the edge.

3. Tarrlok's name is inspired by his aunt, his mother's sister. Or so mother told him. Mother didn't speak much of her, just a few fond words, before ending it with a sad, longing silence. After mother's death, Tarrlok had asked Yakone about his aunt. It was a bad time, just when Yakone was about to take his drink. He'd moved suddenly, and Tarrlok flinched--but Yakone had simply banged the table. "She doesn't matter," he'd said in a level voice, in contrast to the slightly dented table. And Tarrlok never asked about his aunt again, and he remembered that when mother was alive and she'd spoken of her, Yakone had always looked unimpressed.

4. During their nomadic existence, Yakone had kept up his criminal connections, and often let Tarrlok observe. At first Tarrlok had tried to absorb everything, but at a certain point, he grew weary of it. The gist was the same--Yakone would hurt someone, and people would get hurt. What was the point of Tarrlok knowing every single detail?

5. Tarrlok lost his virginity at fourteen. It was to one of the daughters of Yakone's Agni Kai associates, a year older than he and with designs to leave the family business.

6. It wasn't long before Tarrlok did feel some jealousy over Yakone suddenly bringing Amon into their little family unit. It was just sudden. Out of nowhere. Tarrlok had no time to prepare before he was saddled with a little brat. And it seemed like Yakone paid so much damn attention to Amon, and Tarrlok wasn't used to sharing his father's attention like that. Not like Yakone wasn't the most attentive of fathers per se. He was negligent enough before when Tarrlok had been smaller as to make his only real son desperate for any shred of affection from him. Yakone was attentive to Tarrlok's training, certainly, but that was it. But...that was it, and Tarrlok would take what he could get. And now Amon was eating into that time and attention, and Tarrlok initially felt a petty jealousy over the child.

7. When he was four, his mother had stuffed him into the closet and told him not to move or to make a sound or to look while she dealt with the intruder in their home. But there'd been more than one, and they'd chiblocked her, then killed her, and only later would Tarrlok really comprehend that they had done that because mother had murdered their family years ago. Tarrlok had peeked, and saw the whole thing.

Yakone wasn't pleased.

He'd come, too late, but in time to kill mother's murderers. He'd found Tarrlok. Made the boy tell him what happened, and Tarrlok had to confess he could bend the entire time. He hadn't been chiblocked. The only reason he hadn't acted and left the closet to help his mother was because he'd been a coward. Yakone knew it, Tarrlok knew it.

8. Tarrlok is a full ten years older than Amon, who is a full ten years older than Korra, and sometimes Tarrlok briefly wonders about that rather weird even gap between all three of them.

9. Tarrlok does see himself in Korra. Hell, he'd sometimes wore his hair in the same style, a high wolf's tail. Invested and honed in his bending as he, the extremes she goes to get what she wants--but she's so dense. Tarrlok isn't sure if the Avatar truly realizes what she does, and that is a difference there, a difference Tarrlok doesn't appreciate. Oh, he lies, of course he lies, but he does know his own actions well enough. He knows it's all about power, not right or wrong. But he rather doubts Korra does. Korra seems to genuinely believe in right and wrong, and that she's in the right no matter what she actually does, and Tarrlok is dismissive of such personal ignorance. It's part of the reason why he finally drops his masks and tries to be at least a little frank and honest with her in his office after he has the Avatar's companions and the civilian nonbenders arrested. He wanted her to understand, even just a little. Of course, it was all for persuading her to fall in line, but on some level, he simply just wanted it because he was irrirated with her behavior, and wanted it to be less offensive to him.

10. When Korra refuses him the last time, Tarrlok is reminded of Amon. Younger than Korra, but an adolescent still, Amon had refused him too. And both refused him over nonbenders, essentially. Amon had been so concerned with nonbenders, his people--Tarrlok couldn't understand how Amon didn't realize he was better than them, he shouldn't concern himself with people too weak to help themselves. Tarrlok just wanted Amon to embrace that, seize his own slice of power, not go around wasting time trying to assist that many irrelevant people. It was galling all the more because Tarrlok knew Amon was close to that, his methods were close--but despite the years gone by without seeing each other, Tarrlok was still fairly certain Amon continued to bear a misguided sense of right and wrong.

For all his calculation now, and even in his youth, Amon had still been a teenager with fire, and Korra's own fire sometimes reminded Tarrlok of that--but hers was always an aimless one, while Amon's had been honed and burned fiercer for that. It was a fire Tarrlok never really understood--if he had any fire at that age, it was only a slow burn. Never as bright as theirs. But it could spark occasionally.

Such as when Korra says just the wrong thing, and Tarrlok strikes.

11. It was the wrong thing to say because Tarrlok had already been reminded of Amon, who was frankly a sore topic on every level. And then he'd felt irrationally defensive of his younger brother seconds after damning him in his thoughts--had the Avatar implied Amon was 'bad?' Honestly, when Tarrlok tried to think of a real 'good' in this world, Amon was his first thought. But of course he thought of a real good in this world--and Tarrlok remembered Amon as a creature desperate for affection and fiercely reciprocating warmth he received; a creature still in terrible grief and anger but loathed to take a life, to even really hurt anyone--but would do it if it was necessary; a creature Tarrlok knew was now full grown with desperation driving him to what was called extremism, that was driven by necessity not desire, that still avoided killing. That was the closest thing to 'good' in Tarrlok's mind. And Tarrlok did not believe Amon could keep it up; he may refuse it now, he may've refused Tarrlok, but Tarrlok knew Amon would eventually realize the truth of the world: that 'good' didn't matter, and neither did 'evil.' It was just about power. And Tarrlok knew it was only a matter of time before Amon learned that.

12. Yakone had been the only one to continue Tarrlok's waterbending training. Yakone knew the motions, he would never forget them, and that was enough to teach Tarrlok.

13. Tarrlok never knew if Yakone had the box especially crafted for this, or if it'd been used for another purpose before, and then gained a new one--specifically, to cage Tarrlok. This would be the first time he bloodbent, when forcing his father to open the metal cage, per his father's orders.

14. Yakone continued to use himself as a test subject for Tarrlok, ordering him to break his arm, stop his walk. Tarrlok hated this worse than bloodbending the animals, and would rather bend them than his own father.

Tarrlok could be frankly too observant for his own good, aware enough to know his situation was highly dsyfunctional, and yet it still felt natural, it was all he knew. He knew Yakone was cruel, and how little he thought of his own son--but Tarrlok still loved him and wanted his father's love and pride. And he knew Yakone blamed him for his mother's death, and he did want to make up for it. And mother had told him to always love and respect and honor and protect his father.

15. At seventeen, Tarrlok had enough and left Yakone for good. But Yakone never completely left his thoughts.

16. Before his mother died, Tarrlok had been frightened of monsters in the closet. (The same closet she'd stuff him in later for his own protection.) Mother had hugged him, and explained in such a calm and serious voice, Tarrlok listened intently, for he knew his mother was saying something very important.

"There are no such things as monsters in this world, Tarrlok. There are only people, and what matters is whether they have power, or they do not."

"And animals," Tarrlok had added in a voice still quiet with reverence for his mother.

"And animals. But the thing with power applies to them as well."

And he kissed him good night, and Tarrlok had slept well.

17. But ultimately, Tarrlok did believe in monsters, deep down.

18. Tarrlok has horrible scars on his chest. One of Yakone's enemies had caught him as a child, and they had...it hadn't been pleasant. Tarrlok does not like to remember how he got the scars (but the mind will dream). He'd been loathed to show them at all, but the desire for sex eventually won out.

19. Tarrlok actually had nightmares as bad as Amon, especially when he'd been the same age as the younger boy. And he still had them in his adolescence, but he'd learn to be quieter about them most of the time. Most of the time. Occasionally he became disruptive, and wake to find a terrified and worried Amon shaking him awake. And Tarrlok thought he would've felt a flash of twisted satisfaction, knowing he'd probably disturbed Amon's sleep like Amon had done so much for him--but Tarrlok had only felt a very foreign shock. He hadn't had anyone come for him in an attempt to comfort his nightmares not since--not since his mother, Tarrlok was certain.

Tarrlok supposed it was...nice? No, it was just--he wasn't used it. Eventually he decided he didn't much care for it; Amon looked so worried, and this was not the image Tarrlok wanted, he was not a child anymore, he was not weak. Tarrlok strove harder to keep a lid on his nightmares.

The nightmares did not vanish in Tarrlok's adulthood either.

20. Right before becoming the Northern Water Tribe's council representative, Tarrlok served as Republic City's District Attorney.

21. Tarrlok does have a reputation for promiscuity, courting several ladies, but rarely seriously. He never treats any of them cruelly, and typically the women he chooses know there is no prospect of marriage in the future. This reputation stems purely from Tarrlok's own physical desire.

22. Tarrlok is dismissive of probending. He finds the game waters down bending too much, making it weak, and Tarrlok despises weakness of any kind.

23. Tarrlok killed a human for the first time when he was ten. Yakone spent weeks preparing him. Tarrlok got the gist that this target was a particularly hard one for Yakone and his allies and their underlings to reach, but a small child would have the element of surprise. And Tarrlok did. The overweight man had looked amused at this thin Water Tribe child with long unkempt hair, brought in as a messenger, and was sneering--and then gagging as Tarrlok bloodbent his throat, fatally so. And messily, because Tarrlok had never done such a thing before, he was new at this. Yakone and his men had backed Tarrlok up, taking down the guards and making sure they didn't touch Tarrlok, who had retreated to the corner of the office and curled into a ball, feeling very wet from the target's blood. But Tarrlok had felt better when Yakone had smiled and carried him in his arms, telling him he did a good job. He felt ecstatic, even

24. Tarrlok and Pema had a fling before Tenzin and Lin Bei Fong broke up. They never mentioned it again, and Tarrlok rather doubts Pema has ever told Tenzin. And the fling had been--the actual act was mind-bogglingly pleasant. But Tarrlok knew who Pema wanted, and instead of the gratification he expected at even that little barb against Tenzin, he felt his pride actually wounded. Unacceptable. Now Pema, he had been rather cruel too, but she bit back, they argued--Tarrlok remembers saying Pema should just damn the consequences and take what she wanted instead of wasting time with another. When Tarrlok did hear of Pema and Tenzin's engagement, he'd felt some dark amusement.

25. Tarrlok doesn't actually like dark red wine. He knows its the color, and he despises that horrible predictability and weakness in himself.

26. Tarrlok grew to dislike animals. They simply brought up foul memories of bloodbending, Yakone, and Amon. Amon--spirits, the brat had liked animals. Tarrlok had been the same, once--but that didn't last long after he could see how helpless they were against his bending. His sympathy had morphed to apathy--they just so helpless...too helpless. Literally nothing they could do. They were more like objects to push and pull than real living beings.

Same with people who couldn't bloodbend in general.

27. There were a few really good moments and days with Yakone and Amon, so few and far in between, almost forgotten, but not quite; and cherished all the more. For example, a really good day had been Tarrlok's ice dodging. Somehow it felt even better after Tarrlok's actual fifteenth birthday, when Yakone had ordered him to bloodbend Amon for the first time. From one extreme to the next. Because on that day Yakone did not work the criminal underworld or train Tarrlok and Amon to harm or even serve them a biting remark. It was simply Yakone and the ship and the old man observing Tarrlok work to dodge the ice and Amon had been a little thing looking on in awe with wide eyes and he'd even made for a good little assistant. Yakone had simply given Tarrlok the mark of the wise, and even Amon the mark of the brave, and then they'd gone back to their current home. And Amon had kept going on and on, and Tarrlok found he liked even this change of pace, the little scarred boy was normally quieter than this, had been even quieter after being bloodbent on Yakone's orders for the first time. But this was the first since then since he'd really come alive, and Tarrlok just enjoyed how bright Amon's eyes were when he looked at him. Amon had asked if he'd be ice dodging when he was fifteen, and Tarrlok had promised he would, that he himself would take him out.

28. On Amon's fifteenth birthday, Tarrlok had just walked to Yue Bay and watched the ships dock and depart, its dark waves push and pull. Amon was not here, and at the time, Tarrlok doubted he would ever see him again. Even he understood that something had broke between he and his adopted brother, enough to practically severe their relationship entirely. (And deep down, though he did not want to admit it in any capacity, he knew who was more to blame for that division, the way his brother's eyes had shattered and dimmed, as if someone had killed all light in them.)

29. The very first time Tarrlok bloodbent Amon, Yakone had given no order. It's just that Amon kept screaming from nightmares and Tarrlok wanted to sleep, his exhaustion made his training suffer and disappoint Yakone, and Yakone changed Amon's bandages while leaving Tarrlok to lick his own wounds, he hadn't tended to Tarrlok wounds since he'd learned enough waterbender healing as a child--

So Tarrlok had just bloodbent Amon to make him shut up, silence his vocal chords. And made sure Amon was awake, and had some idea what he was doing. It wasn't enough to make Amon silent for one night, Tarrlok wanted to scare him into the habit of it, he just wanted more than one night of sleep. And for a time, that worked. Tarrlok could hear no noise from Amon's room after that, and he could finally collapse into bed in peace.

30. The first birthday Tarrlok had with Amon around, the child had given him new hair ties. A gift that weighed heavily on Tarrlok when he'd obeyed Yakone's orders to bloodbend Amon that night. But still he'd kept those hair ties, though he never wore them again. Not until his next birthday, when Amon gave him more hair ties. Amon kept giving him hair ties for his birthdays. For some reason, Tarrlok didn't mind the repetitive gift, especially when he noticed how Amon tried to always find him a new sort of hair tie. Even after their estrangement when Amon was fourteen, Tarrlok still kept the hair ties. And wore them. They'd been in his hair when Ikki had wondered why he wore three ponytails.

31. And when Ikki wondered why he smelled like a lady, Tarrlok had been uncomfortably reminded of Amon. His brother had been having a horribly noisy fit of nightmares again, keeping Tarrlok up at night. Tarrlok would not bloodbend Amon again; rationally he told himself if it didn't work last time, it wouldn't work now, and Amon was surely growing accustomed to bloodbending by now, it would hold less shock value; unconsciously, emotionally, his stomach twisted in guilt at the thought of bloodbending Amon outside of Yakone's orders again. But Tarrlok was losing sleep again. In desperation, Tarrlok tried to ask the current village's local healer--ask rhetorically, if someone was having nightmares constantly, what to do about that? The healer had told him about what scents could do, and Tarrlok pressed him on that, it sounded good, probably not unlike the chemicals that could knock a person out Yakone employed for abductions. But the healer had said to first see what scents the person with the nightmares liked. And so Tarrlok quizzed Amon. The boy had rambled on, about bread and grass and Tarrlok struggled to try to get him to narrow it down.

Finally he just took his brother down to the village to essentially browse scents. He arched a brow when Amon dragged him toward the perfume stalls, and eyed the young ladies there, even some of the older lovely ones. But he shook himself, trying to concentrate on Amon, who said that he liked that scent, and this scent, and that one and that one--Tarrlok just bought all the perfumes Amon pointed out, not questioning anything. Tarrlok first tried rationing out the dose of perfumes when lining Amon's pillow with it, he wanted to make the stuff last for a while. And Amon had slept soundly. Tarrlok found the scents to even be agreeable to him too. The brat had good taste, at least.

This procedure kept going without a hitch, until one day when Tarrlok was about to prepare Amon's pillow with the last of the perfumes, and he'd heard a sound--the snap of a fist, and Amon's pained, very loud cry. Tarrlok had jerked, and the last of the perfumes spilled, all over his hair. Tarrlok swore; then he closed his eyes, harshly breathing and counting to ten as he heard Amon continue to wail. Then he strode to where he'd heard Amon's shout, finding Yakone leaving the room without a glance back to the boy huddled and crying on the ground, bleeding. And Tarrlok just felt his patience snap. Amon had suffered worse by now and gotten better at dealing with pain without making such noise or losing control, and he had a better idea of what Yakone was like, he shouldn't be inconsolable like this. And Tarrlok had been extremely irritated with himself for being caught off guard like this, he shouldn't have been suprised by this.

So Tarrlok had snapped at Amon to shut it, crying wasn't going to help, let him see what was wrong.

And Amon had sniffled and swallowed hard, and stiffly broke out of his huddle, unfurling himself to show the small bloody tooth in his shaking hands.

"Tarrlok, can you put it back, please?"

And Tarrlok had felt guilty again. Had Amon not lost a baby tooth yet? Spirits, he hoped this was a baby tooth. Tarrlok examined the small tooth, and checked Amon's mouth, to confirm.

"It's just a baby tooth."

Amon had glared, his eyes burning, still crying. "I'm not a baby--!"

"This is a tooth that was going to come out eventually, to make room for the new grown-up tooth that will come in," Tarrlok had calmly explained, while hiding his discomfort; so that was the first baby tooh Amon lost. "That replaceable one is just called a baby tooth--it's just a name. I'm not calling you a baby."

The boy had sniffled, no longer glaring, and looking curious. "A-are all my teeth like that?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Amon blinked, then looked down. "So you can't put it back?"

"No, I don't want to block the new one that'll grow in--and that's the one you don't want to lose, because it won't get another replacement." Tarrlok slipped Amon's bloodied baby tooth into his pocket. He reached his hands out for the boy's mouth. "But I can tend to your mouth, stop the bleeding."

"'Kay. Thanks."

After that, Tarrlok carried Amon to bed. Amon leaned into Tarrlok's shoulder, pinning part of his hair there.

"...om."

"What?" Tarrlok asked, confused by Amon's sleepy murmur. The boy was sleepy already? Well, it'd been another long day of training, and to cap it off with getting his first tooth (hopefully only) punched out, Tarrlok couldn't actually blame Amon for being tired. But he had been worried this would trigger another nightmare....

"Mom. You smell like my Mom."

Tarrlok remembered the lady's perfumes spilled into his hair.

"These are the scents you liked, that I put on your pillow," Tarrlok said slowly.

"Uh huh," Amon said in a small slurred voice.

Tarrlok sighed, knowing his room would be empty tonight. Tarrlok laid down with Amon in the younger boy's room, letting Amon sleep on his shoulder and bury his scarred face into his hair. Tarrlok was surprised to find he didn't mind that much; training had been long for him too, and he soon fell asleep.

And it just--Tarrlok had just gotten into the habit of continuing to wear those scents. He had grown to like them too, and when worn in public, it had gotten some favorable attention from the ladies. It was just...convenient. Yes, those scents were convenient. That was all.

32. Tarrlok loves books. He was the Jinora of this day. Both of his parents encouraged this. Though admittedly, it was about the only acceptable form of 'play' he was allowed. When not honing his bending, he would devour every book, maybe a puzzle--outside of bending, 'extracurriculars' to develop his mind were allowed and encouraged, but other more traditional forms of play and toys weren't really that heard of. Both Yakone and his wife were agreed to develop Tarrlok to a certain pinnacle of human, and that required certain things, though Yakone was more 'bad cop' about it, while his wife more 'good cop.' Tarrlok wasn't necessarily forbidden to play with other children, neither parent said he couldn't, but they never prepared him for that sort of thing. So Tarrlok was actually very awkward with other children, and ended up avoiding them.

When Amon joined Tarrlok and Yakone, and the boy spoke of and actually played what games he could that were more 'traditional,' 'childish,' Tarrlok felt a small flash of embarassment over having no clue on what Amon was doing--and also an annoying great spark of curiosity. Tarrlok would not only entertain Amon by letting the younger boy pull him into his games out of a sense of a guilt for the bloodbending, a foreign desire to please someone other than Yakone, and because something in Amon so plainly craved his attention and Tarrlok found he liked being needed in such a way--but also due to the fact that on some level Tarrlok finally got to appreciate the sort of young childhood games he never got to play.

But when Tarrlok learned Amon couldn't read or write--it was just unaccepable, he had to teach him.

33. Tarrlok knows Amon is the only person to care about him. Him. Not his bending. Hell, Amon had feared it--Tarrlok could never blame him for that, not after what Yakone ordered, what Tarrlok ultimately chose to obey. But then he knew Amon had grown to hate it, to think it had ruined him. And Tarrlok could not blame him for that either. His brother had suffered too much as a child, it damaged his thinking, warped his reasoning. After what he'd been through, Tarrlok doubted Amon could ever really understand that for Tarrlok...in the end, Tarrlok was his bending. Bending was control, and Tarrlok was control. He doubted he could've avoided becoming a monster even without it. Yakone didn't need it to be one. Amon may've thought that even Yakone was a monster because of the mentality of bending...but no, no, Tarrlok knew.

He knew that's just how people were.

(0. Tarrlok had been Amon's hero. At first he wasn't sure what to make of the teenager, then thankful for his waterbender healing, then embarrassed by what Tarrlok saw and had to do when helping him heal, then just associating him with pain though Tarrlok was trying to fix it. Then secondly he was truly afraid, when Tarrlok had done...something to his throat so that he couldn't make a sound after screaming from another bad dream, Amon hadn't even know what bloodbending was. But finally, finally, worship, when Tarrlok took him on their first village trip together, and he'd been actually nice, no one had been really nice to him since the fire and even then it had felt like ages, though the scars had been new then, and he could actually still remember his first family then. And then Tarrlok had taught him to read and write, and he'd advised him on training, and kept being the one consistent source of care and affection in his life. Despite the...the bloodbending. Amon knew Tarrlok just wanted to please his father. Tarrlok wouldn't ever hurt him or anyone like this if not for Yakone. Tarrlok would retain his kindness more often if not for Yakone. And Amon wanted to be just like Tarrlok. Tarrlok was so smart and he spoke so well and wasn't afraid to speak in front of others, he wasn't scared of anything, he was so brave and so strong--Tarrlok was 'so everything' to Amon when he'd been a child, Tarrlok had been his hero, Tarrlok became god. He was the person he looked up to the most in the world. Childish fervor somewhat wore off in Amon's adolescence, but he still fiercely believed Tarrlok to be a great man.

And then Tarrlok wasn't.

Oh, he was still so very smart, and so very brave, and spoke so very well and did not fear to speak that well in front of everyone, he still feared nothing.

But Tarrlok was so very cruel too.

And there was no Yakone to blame, he wasn't looming in the background observing, judging.

There was just Tarrlok. Only Tarrlok. It had only been Tarrlok the whole time.

And later when the sheer agony over this betrayal wanes a little, Amon tries to rationalize again, to defend his brother again, to believe in him, he didn't want him to be a monster. Yakone wasn't physically there, but he'd left his mark on Tarrlok, he made Tarrlok this way, made it so that he would do this even when Yakone wasn't even there, it was all Yakone's fault; if Tarrlok couldn't bend, obviously he couldn't bloodbend then, and Yakone wouldn't have made him that way, Tarrlok wouldn't think he could do this because he could bend, bending had made him a target of his father, bending had warped Tarrlok's mind, bending had taken his brother away, it took everything he loved away from him--

When Yakone disappointed Tarrlok, Tarrlok thought the world cruel, and he should behave as such, work through such cruelty to control what he could. Go to extremes to get what he wants.

When Tarrlok disappointed Amon, Amon went to an extreme even farther than that--he would change the world. It would not stay that way.

Because of Tarrlok, because Amon appreciated Tarrlok for who he was, and knew bending was to blame for everything else.)