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[personal profile] overlithe
(Before we go in, I’d like to point out that this was written during my bout of labyrinthitis, so any bad parts are of course due to me being deeply affected by Rollercoaster Disease and any good parts are extra good due to me fighting bravely to not let myself be affected by Rollercoaster Disease.)

Or, They Were Careless People, Tony and Peter

Or, Spider-Man: Homecoming, a Very Short Review:

Me, after CA:CW: Team Cap or Team Iron Man? After this movie, the real question is which one of these two arsechapeaus I hate the most. Haha, just kidding, it’s Steve. Which is remarkable, considering I’m under a geas to say the words “Tony Stark profited off the Iraq War” every time I hear the words Tony Stark.
Spider-Man: Homecoming: Oh yeah? CW, hold my beer.

Or, Spider-Man: Homecoming, the (Much, Much) Longer Review:

in which Peter Parker is the GOB Bluth of super-heroes and Tony Stark continues to commit some light treason )

9,000 words of tl;dr: CW was two hours of terrible filmmaking and deplorable subtext. Homecoming is two hours of much better filmmaking and even more deplorable subtext. However, the terrible subtext is now amusing, and therefore I’m looking forward to Infinity War, which, judging by this progression, will be crafted on a level worthy of Stanley Kubrick and feature Steve going full Unabomber and Tony supporting a fascist dictatorship, but like, in a way that ends up being unwittingly hilarious. By default, Toomes is the best villain of the MCU, if “best” means “best crafted character” and if “best” also means “less morally objectionable than the heroes of this movie”. Another point in favour of Homecoming is that it offers the hope that some day a bunch of ordinary people will wreck the Avengers facility while Cat Stevens’ Morning Has Broken plays in the background, presumably culminating in the raising of a banner saying “No Avengers, No Masters”. I also create an historic first and my claim to fame by making a J Jonah Jameson/Theodor Adorno joke (by this I mean I refer to them in the same joke, not that I ship them although who knows).

Most important of all, Michael Mando is in this movie, looking like he just wandered off the Better Call Saul set, so we can all pretend that Ignacio Varga is going to team up with Birdman to take down Tony Stark and his mini-me. I know an excellent lawyer they can consult for these purposes.

Also, here’s a review that raises pretty much the same points, only much more concisely and with a joke about not having sex with Marie Antoinette instead.

Labyrinth O’ Fun

Jul. 16th, 2017 05:26 pm
overlithe: (Default)
[personal profile] overlithe
Hey, everyone, I just wanted to give you all an update on what I’ve been doing. I am in fact not dead, but I’ve had to be absent from everything because I have labyrinthitis. (At least that's what my doctor thinks at the moment, obviously it could be something else and orthostatic intolerance in general is a symptom of my chronic illness, but I don’t think it would get this bad all of a sudden and naturally we’re going with the most likely hypothesis first.) It actually landed me in A&E at some point, so that’s been fun! (1) I now have some medicine that will hopefully help, but yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks and will continue to be doing for the near future until the infection/inflammation goes away.

I titled this post labyrinth o’ fun in homage to what is undoubtedly the most accomplished film prop of all time, the Nut O’ Fun from The Exorcist II, and also because of that one comic book where someone calls Bucky’s mind “a hemorrhaging maze” and it turns out that when that’s more or less literal instead of metaphoric, it’s actually hilarious (2) instead of super sad and depressing.

(1) It actually has been fun because it makes me feel like I’m riding a rollercoaster and also sometimes I get that feeling of euphoria that comes from poor cerebral blood perfusion. Wheee!
(2) Must be the hypoxia talking again. Wheee!



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